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Healing is.

Photography by Adam Coleman

Healing is not a graph one can point to and there is no one course of action that can lead us there. It is a mercurial act of will and a game of hot and cold, groping around in the dark for pockets of warmth that can be felt in the hands as we move toward voices that are unfamiliar and safe. Healing is a womb. Healing is being dropped in a foreign country with spoons for hands. Healing is ears where a jaw used to be. Healing is guts with a mouth. Healing is art. Healing is fresh start/strike the canvas.

Healing is an elevator without buttons. Healing is the animal you can’t forget to feed. Healing is the time capsule buried in the backyard. Healing is I’m sorry and thank you and me too and God bless and namaste and fuck that and never/always/love you/not/yes/today/please/I’ve missed you/do you want something to eat/you’re fucking beautiful/that feels good/that hurts/where were you/I am/gracias/merci/Dankeschön/fingers that make a steeple/big bite/sleep tight/steady/bumpy/still. Healing is silence. Healing is music. Dense crowd. Upside down. Road signs. Free rides and empty alleys.

Healing is a desert and a tall glass. Icy shower. Healing is bored. Healing is a sign on the street side desk that says free. Healing is you me and the pool in between. Can you hear words under water? Healing is eat/eat/don’t/eat/repeat. Healing is hungry hungry hippo and the Big Dipper and the milkshake stirred salty in the cut and a ghost in McDonalds. If you learn their names can they haunt you? Healing is furry furry and a bean stuck up your nose. Healing is hand shakes and big belly/flop off the diving board. Healing is static quick crackle clear. Healing is on/off/yes/more/dig the shovel, strike gold and a sewer line smashed spraying. Let them laugh.

Healing is a broken yolk that tastes like Jesus. Hey Zeus. Healing is tic tock drop it like it’s hot potato. Healing is the genie in the lamp/rub/rub/sit and wait it out. Healing is a blinking neon no/vacancy. Healing is gallop tumble trip/chip dipped in cloud soup. Healing is quick draw firing blanks. Healing is double tap your toe to beats and breaks. Healing is seesaw scissors in the craw flip the swing over the bar and turn the body inside out. Healing is wring it out. Rain/rain/repeat. Healing is cold bed play dead dancing in the sheets. Healing is bobbing for apples. Head dunked crunchedsoursweet. Healing is a haystack and a jamboree. Healing is a myth with feet. Healing is swivel in the seat. Healing is arthroscopic nerve replacement lollipop chomped in molars. Sugar shit sunk ship buried treasure. Healing is on your knees. Healing is a boxing ring. Healing is a blindfold/smack the cue ball with your ass. Healing is shimmy shake devil at your back angels in your fingers. Healing is dancing with the dead. Healing is planting vegetables that won’t get cooked till Spring. Healing is excavate the roots/pull the weeds. Healing is dope/dope/shit/fuck/ding. Healing is the algebra lesson you swore you’d never need. Healing is get back in the car/answer on the first ring.

Healing is build the fence with flowers. Healing is broken socket/find the one with power. Healing is food in the grin/ask the stranger for the floss. Healing is pebbles in the shoe put back in the earththeycamefrom. Healing is hi moon and high noon. Healing is a big net/catch the seconds. Healing is the mouth that needs fed/share the sandwich. Healing is speak. Healing is don’t. Healing is a magnifying glass/gaping cracks/pour honey in in in. Healing is begin/fin/begin. Healing is love with teeth. Healing is frozen pees/bruised cheek. Healing is curved lines. Healing is open the filing cabinet. Healing is holding/being held/holding/holding/holding/space/time/humans/lifting the held bits of self/shaky beam of light. Healing is a towel/shake shake/shake it out/sand/dry your damn self/get wet/step and repeat. Healing is help them cross the street.

Healing is feed the hens. Healing is consent. Healing is how many animals can I fit in this bed. Healing is crystals in the bra/found a hammer/found a saw. Healing is build. Healing is build again. Watch the storm take the house leave you with a kitchen sink. Healing is little steps/big leap/drink drink/H2O. Healing is readysteadygo. Healing is a broken clock. Healing is break the thoughts. Healing is lay in the grass. Healing is feelings pass. Healing is a mother’s hand. Healing is an old friend. Healing is pass the butter. Healing is love you can’t get from another. Healing is gentle gentle as fists flinch. Healing is the belly laugh when you’re all alone. Healing is let out the moan. Healing is choice. Healing is voice. Healing is. Healing is. Healing is.


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